Bunty - 8
Tink - 8
Clott - 9
Scribbles - 8
Gam - 13
Slam - 11
Rott - 14
Ink - 11
Garden inspector - 10
Nest inspector - 10
Mudd - 8
Monty - 16
Fling -
16 HEALDosh - 6
Posh -
8 HURTWeevil X - 10
Octeelia - 15
Thugg - 9
Tum - 12
Figg - 9
Kip - 9
Trump - 1000 SUPER HURT
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August 13 10:30AM,
District Court,
Courtroom No. 5
Judge: Court is now in session for the trial of Rott
Lawyer: The defense is ready, Your Honour
Prosecutor: The prosecution is ready, Your Honour
Judge: Now lets get this darn thing out the way already! May the prosecution deliver it's opening statement. And try to be quick for heavens sake!
Prosecutor: Happily! On the morning of August 12th, the former magazine nest inspector for whatever reason crash landed in Rott's bedroom. Rott, being the angry son of a bitch he is, hit the victim with his trophy out of his own aggression which explains the head wound found on Glamm's head as well as the blood found on the trophy. Furthermore, Rott then tried to think of a way to get out of his crimes and so thus phoned an ambulance to make it look like an accident but once the second victim, Hans Paramedic came round, it is likely that he himself worked out the nature of the situation and so the defendant panicked and so thus delivered another major blow by hopping into the second victim's ambulance and splattering his guts all round the place.
Judge: Alright, we-
Objection!
Lawyer: The prosecutions analysis is completely flawed! First of all, the impact found on the victim's head could have easily been done via directly hitting the trophy upon crash landing through the roof! Second of all, if Rott was so eager to kill Hans Paramedic, then why did he go through the effort of going all the way to his ambulance to run him over when he could have easily grabbed the same supposed murder weapon or even another ornament to strike him dead like he supposedly did to Glamm?
Objection!
Prosecutor: Er, its er, merely a way of completely trashing the crime scene to make it look like a conflict between Glamm and Mr. Paramedic or Rott himself may be er... potentially after an opportunity to get insurance money?
Objection!
Lawyer: I'm sorry but this is just pathetic! You've no evidence for either claim! I myself don't believe for one second that Rott would be responsible for any murder! And I have the perfect proof for showing how Rott couldn't have murdered the first victim as the prosecution suggests!
Take that!
Lawyer: The supposed murder weapon has no fingerprint-
Objection!
Prosecutor: The defendant could have easily wiped them off in that time!
Objection!
Lawyer: Unfortunately the court relies off evidence, not suggestions and there is nothing at all found by which the defendant could have wiped the murder weapon with!
Prosecutor: Urk!
Lawyer: Moreover, the prosecution states that Glamm was murdered on the morning of August 12th but this evidence here proves that it happened the night before!
Take that!
Lawyer: Here is a photo of the crime scene itself where on the victim's back, you can clearly see writing saying "If undelivered, please send to Caslle Gam - 11/08/18". I believe Gam is a key suspect in this case and I think it would be reasonable for him to come in and testify! Wouldn't you agree Your Honour?
Judge: I honestly don't care! Just get this over and done with already so I can go back to my cheese and pineapple already!
Objection!
Prosecutor: The defense is clearly missing the point of how the term 'Caslle' appears to be a mis-spelling of 'castle'. Surely you wouldn't suggest that Gam is stupid enough at his old age to make such a mistake like that!
Hold it!
Lawyer: It could have been the work of one of his collegues! I heard Clott is rather the clumsey character and I heard recently that his friend Tink is also beginning to become a bit of a plonker himself. But why don't we just go call Gam to the stand and hear what he has to say on the matter? Surely you agree its the only way we can ever come to a suitable explanation?
Prosecutor: Ugh fine! The court calls-
Hold it!
Lawyer: Wha?-
Judge: Eh?-
Prosecutor: Huh?-
Detective: How's everyone getting along? I hope I weren't too late for the party!
Judge: We've only just recently started; sadly.
Detective: Well that's great since I've found some damning evidence that will turn this case around for good! After some further examination on Hans Paramedic's body, we uncovered this hidden recording device which recorded all what was going on until his death! It not only proves that the defendant is innocent but it also suggests further information regarding this 'special force' that has been buzzing around lately!
Objection!
Prosecutor: No! This is impossible! Give me that recording! Huh....... uh hm.......... Yes...............
...........
Judge: Well its clear the prosecution has nothing to say so let's just end the trial-
Hold it!
Prosecutor: Don't end it! I beg of you!
Judge: Well you haven't found anyth-
Objection!
Prosecutor: Let me focus! Okay?! Right.... uh, hmm, er, yes! That's it! The defendant was recorded to have said the term 'Squidward' so even though he may be not guilty of murder, surely we should still charge him on the basis of copyright infringement of Nickelodeon!
Judge: Erm... What? I seriously need to have a word with the Bailiff regarding our so-called 'strict drug checks' we perform on everyone since you are honestly off your rocker to believe that openly talking about a piece of media is somehow copyright. I'm sorry but I must hand down my verdict. There is honestly no reason for this trial to continue.
Prosecutor: NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! I PROMISED! I PROMISED THEM TO NOT LET THEM DOWN! THEY SAID IF I EVER DID, THEY'D- NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
*BOOM*
*SPLAT*
Lawyer: ....
Detective: .....
.......
Judge: ..... Well it appears as if a bomb had been strapped to the prosecution this entire time. Well one things for certain, this trial isn't going into those matters and so a further investigation into what just happened will be scheduled at a later date and hopefully another Judge can lead any possible trial into it because I am sick and tired of this whole case anyway. Anyhow, the court finds the defendant, Rott
NOT GUILTY
Judge: Court is now adjourned!